Return of the :P season!!

Disclaimer: Please note that all views expressed in this post is solely the opinion of the readers. The author has no responsibility whatsover of whatever has been written or said about anybody or anything. Any resemblance to any person living or loving is purely intended and needs to be taken in the most inaccurate regard. Also, please feel free to comment on the content as it needs a little more of a redo.. me being an outsider in the whole area commented on. Insiders are invited to share their thoughts over the matter and echo their sentiments over this piece of shit. Thank you and have a nice day!!

Now that the 😛 season is back with a bang, here are few tips that will help you sail through the test of times and win a few “samarthaks” in the process:

1. Never ever tell the truth.
2. Always believe in what is told to you no matter where it comes from.
3. Start making friends coz if you are not a friend you are an enemy.
4. Zip your mouth except when it comes to Fachhes, you can blast the balance in front of them.
5. Stay away from Biharis, they seem to have a knack of getting into trouble.
6. Put on your best face possible and constantly try to smile and elicit a smile from the stranger infront of you.
7. Organize a Matki Fod competition in your hall, matkas seem to love that..
8. Its that time of the year when you need to shave your goatee and comb your hairs-you never know where and when the thunder may strike.
9. Never ever dare to venture into the enemy’s den. The thing has a history of turning nasty and bloody.
10. As the D date approaches keep the spirit of fair and free elections alive by dining with the candidates and feasting the innocents.
11. Be comfortable with multiple personality disorder you can no longer call yourself by your name.
12. Do not dare cross the line and ridicule a netaji, you may live to regret that later.
13. Start learning to concoct serious alibis about your whereabouts, every second needs to be accounted for.
14. Wash out your orkut profile, no trace of yourself should be visible there.
15. Honesty is still the best policy, you have to sincerely and honestly lie about your “cali chotha’.

To prepare for the next years version here are some important points that needs to be taken care of before you can go into the preparation mode:

1. Start taking some math courses, seems like numbers are all that matters here.
2. Put up a smile on your face and never ever try to take it down come what may.
3. Bihar is the best state in the country, never ever doubt that.
4. Make yourself scarce at the classroom and abundant in the common room. Drams, Choreo and Illu needs you much more than the rest of the tribe.
5. Stay connected always whoever it is you are connected to.
6. You have to be in the thick of the things always, theres no shortcut to that.
7. Save money, you would be needing them later.
8. Learn to use slang extravagantly, its gonna stand by you in good stead.
9. Don your thinking cap and eliminate competition, unethical is the new buzzword.
10. Back stabbing is a useful art, learn it.

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7 Comments

  1. hey brought this up at a niccceee time…… exhaustive online tutorials from a not so qualified prof of the subject… [:P] gud work on the maths point… [:))]

  2. This is stuff legends are made of. Truly hits the nail on its head. Also makes you a bit nostalgic and as I have graduated some years since, brings a sort of benevolent smile on your face.

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