Devil’s Advocate

This piece is a work of fiction and intended to be so. The ASB(Anti-Student Bureau) is requested to pay no heed to the contents of this letter since it is not intended for humans. Any actions against me would be ghastly and I understand I am going to break many a draconian law in the process. I dont care so long as this letter does not reach the ears of the ones for whom this letter is intended for. Any resemblance to any person in the campus or outside it is strictly intentional and I carry no liabilities for the same. Its my domain, my keyboard and I am free to tap on it in whatsoever way I can without the authorities bugging me for any more offences. I already have a handful of those in my Curriculum Vitea and I would only be happy to add to my already bulging repertoire.

Dear Diro,

I hope I can address you on a first name basis having so many things in common afterall. First of all, I would like to congratulate you for having the nerve to implement such effective and implementable laws in the institute. I applaud your efforts to finally rein in the wild students of this campus who have for the past few years or so gone beserk and have overwelcomed their stay here at IIT Kharagpur. Its high time these good-for-nothing tramps learnt to be disciplined and something like that. I dont know about you but I was really quite fed up with the way these young chaps were being let free to graze in this senseless world.

From what I have heard the academic environment in the campus have been seriously hit with the .(dot) kaum mania. Add to that the freedom to do whatsoever one wishes to do. We are not the wild west for God’s sake. We have a long and distinctive culture to impose authority where it is not needed and we cant go back on our long cherished ideals can we?Β  The 11 PM ban is well intentioned and I would like to add an appendage to it for good measure. Why not make it compulsory for students to be in bed by 11 PM. That way they would surely complete the required minimum hours of sleep to be up and running for all the classes. We can also cut down upon the student activities in the campus which has off-late risen to a very alarming level. How can we let these young future of tomorrow waste their time on stupid competitions and inconsequential challenges? I suggest banning the General Championship in totality so the students would be unable to find excuse for not doing their home works.

Banning the internet is a good option that needs to be explored. The students have turned slaves to the phenomena that is DC++ and this lies at the core of the deteriorating situation that is being seen in the campus. Banning the interhall lan would surely take us back to the good old days of restricted thinking. This would also make the implementation of the various reservations quite easy to pass in the legislature. It is due to the information revolution that the students have misinterpreted our intentions of making the IITs the most secular of all the deemed institutions. Adopting a social cause of helping the deprived sections of the society study in the top notch institutions without as much as an effort is a feat only India could have acheived. I salute you for having the courage to implement it against the backdrop of a restrained protest from the unimaginative Indian youth who fails to grasp the politics of it all.

The reservation for the faculty is a step in the right direction. Just as we have accomodated the deprived OBC class with a deceptively low cutoff marks we need to be lenient in case of reserved faculty positions as well. You should seriously consider relaxing the norm of the faculty needing to hold a post-doctoral degree. After all what use is a Phd professor in the campus. There are many who are minting good money without so much as the degree. I suggest taking in the school-teachers with the prescribed caste. We would be doing them a world of good. Hows that for goodwill?

With the decision to set up 6 new IITs i think we are finally going in the right direction. Afterall the country needs quantity not quality from us engineers. Why should be place emphasis on research and innovation when the firangis are already doing that for us. Why should we waste our precious resources on R&D when we can earn as much from carrying out back end jobs for the high-flying firangs who are always too happy to dole out that extra cash for a new-age coolie. I think placing emphasis on the number of engineers we are churning out is the right solution to the increasing demand for these IT professional in the domestic sector as well. We dont need baniyagiri in our country. Why should we encourage Entrepreneurship when we can do much better job at serving other people. Afterall we have a legacy of constantly serving our guests with such great hospitality. Our talent potential lies in serving others and not in making others serve us. Hence, once again your policies are a step in the right direction.

Lastly, I would say that you shouldnt pay heed to the demands of the students. What right do they have to place such atrocious demands. Also, no student consent is required in enacting the various laws that needs toΒ  be enacted, not that I dont know you have been doing precisely that. I again congratulate you on your very applaudable actions of making the student suffer for their unrestrained exploitation of freedom. Way to go Sir you really make the institute proud.

Carry on with your good work.

With warm regards,

Arjun Singh

HR Minister(is there a D smwr?)

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26 Comments

  1. couldn’t have been a more just use of sarcasm. Almost every major issue has been covered.

    Wonderfully unique! Keep it up.

  2. mast be , its good u not a dual-degree student
    aur likh na thoda, on chutiya profs as well, πŸ˜›
    kuch hone jane ka to hai nahi , acha timepass stuff hai

  3. abe that’s 8 more IITs, not 6 [:D]…Moreover i agree with anand that the atrocities and sheer moronity of our cute professors needs some respect too !!! Great work indeed. Am still giggling(i cannot laugh after all, that may be heard by the diro 😐 ) !!

  4. Good Stuff.. I don’t entirely agree with you on the increase in number of IITs. What I find objectionable is the manner of execution of the increase. They should have set up the infrastructure first. The makeshift IITs and undue stress on the existing ones is the result of a thirst for credit and yet another example of their sloppiness.

  5. @ Vijit..the sad state of affairs of the infrastructural level in the existing IIT’s paint a very dismal picture for the upcoming institutions…wouldn’t it have been a more feasible approach to first improve upon the existing ones than to just increase the numbers randomly? i agree the number of engineers we are churning out yearly is still below what is required but when has quantity been a substitute for quality?

  6. Oh that’s another story entirely. Personally, I think the government should be responsible for setting up the institutions and fund it to a point where they can sustain themselves without any government funding. At which point, these institutions deserve autonomy. IIT management should come up with their own model of raising fund from alumnus or research or incubations etc.

  7. Best blog post of yours till date. Covers quite a lot of touchy topics. Reading through it I wondered who would write such a letter to the Diro and bam!! There he is – Arjun Singh. Quite well put. Keep it up

  8. maa kasam. very good indeed. i liked the way you’ve ritten it. arjun uncle ka naam hata de. printout le. kal chalte hain aur daal dete hain uske(sorry unke) office mein as a present along with the 200 I-cards that he has.
    majak bana rakha hai

  9. @ Vijit: agreed that fiscal autonomy is required for the IITs but i dont think that is the reason why the iits are bowing to the pressures of coalition politics…theres more to it that what meets the eye…
    nws alumni involvement would definitely give a strong boost to the pathetic condition these great institutions are finding themselves in…

  10. @Raghav…thnx a lot man..the open letter is there for anyone with guts to use it to their liking …you are free to take it to THE office..:P
    i wont dare to poke my nose in that hellhole….lol
    i am better off writing this good-for-nothing post that only a few can see and comment on….nothings gonna happen unless we take this to the streets…lol

  11. “Dear Diro,I hope I can address you on a first name basis” -> πŸ˜€

    “We are not the wild west for God’s sake. We have a long and distinctive culture to impose authority where it is not needed and we cant go back on our long cherished ideals can we?” -> hmmmmm well put πŸ™‚

    “Why not make it compulsory for students to be in bed by 11 PM. That way they would surely complete the required minimum hours of sleep to be up and running for all the classes.” -> Haha should have even added to wake up the students at sunrise n organize some drills πŸ˜€

    “Banning the internet is a good option that needs to be explored.” -> Seriously, this might become a possiblity in the foreseeable future, unfortunately 😦

    “Just as we have accomodated the deprived OBC class with a deceptively low cutoff marks we need to be lenient in case of reserved faculty positions as well. ” -> But why?? already the proff’s aren’t that great, to make them more and more mediocre?? Such a sad moment!!

    “Also, no student consent is required in enacting the various laws that needs to be enacted, not that I dont know you have been doing precisely that. I again congratulate you on your very applaudable actions of making the student suffer for their unrestrained exploitation of freedom.” ->Nice wordplay…………….badbad…..very bad days here at kgp 😦

    Pretty nice summing up of a very sad situation….. 😦

    Kudos!BaronJoint! nice post…………..pretty insightful, nice wordplay, pretty sarcastic………..excellent timing of the post too…..does it have nething to do with ur ID πŸ˜›

  12. I really wish if we could mail this letter to diro πŸ˜› … tharak gaya hai diro… great post man vented some of my frustration but still we should find some way to oppose his dictatorship….tanashahi nahi chalegi nahi chalegi :)))

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