It is unsettling to see oneself being uncertain about what one wants in life. When there are so many things that occupy your mind at any point of time you sometimes fail to understand what it is that interests you the most and then you start to doubt yourself; what it is that makes you happy. Is it the never ending thirst for perfection or the instincts to satisfy the creative intellect, or is it the exhilaration of a debate won or a point scored?
I sometimes find it hard to identify myself as a person. I try to believe it to be a result of the limited years behind me but then I see people around me living like they never had any doubts about their intentions and desires? I on the other hand have desires one so many, intentions far fetched and varied.
There cannot be one reason that I can ascribe to this trait of mine. After all dreamers all and sundry have been like that, or so I believe. But then how am I to know which dream it is that I should attach the most value to, which ambitions should I prioritize, who and what should I care about? There are times when I limit myself to the thing that stands erect infront of me, tall and imposing, it stands upright and asks me to follow it, then there are times when I want to bring out the tiny nano-fragment of austerity and innocence that I value dearly. What is the point, I ask then.
I look at it through a prism. An angle that presents all dimensions fair and square. It is only then that I realize its not me and my thoughts alone. I am one among the crowd and yet I have to be alone.